Yearning …

When you’re not here I imagine my fingers on your skin …
Warm and soft and yielding to my touch.

When you’re not here, I close my eyes and feel you
Nestled closely in my arms, sharing our love.

When you’re not here, I smell you hair filled with sunshine
Collected as you tend your garden.

I see it now, the same, yet, empty without you
Waiting …. like me … for your return.

March 2001

Release

I found this in my computer this morning …..

Today I set out to find the Sea
To be with my Mother, just She and me.
Traveling around I thought I could find
Some place quiet to clear my mind.

No place seemed right, I couldn’t get there
And as I looked, I felt despair
Spilling over, my tears they came
A threat to other drivers and me the same.

Finally I found a place to park
Not too private, I wished for dark.
I left my car to walk by the beach
With a bad hip and cane – beyond my reach.

And so I gazed at Her from a far
Now wishing for privacy within my car.
I shed my tears, thought they’d never end
Given to Her upon the wind.

I asked Her to take them – to take my pain
But Her answer was No, there is no gain
Only time can heal your broken heart
And only you can do that part.

I thought I would drown in the tears I shed
There was no release, I knew with dread
Nor in my heart, I feel no release
My tears are seeking some kind of peace.

So back in my car, once more I headed home
To be with my self, feeling lost and alone.
To make some sense of this mystery called life
Where love given freely must end in strife.

I beg to release this pain to the Sea
To allow it to flow away from me.
Your help, dear Goddess – please open this door.
Give me courage and strength to find joy once more.

Deanne – September 2001

Difficult Conversations

If words that we speak misfire and cause pain
please ask us to clarify and fully explain.
For often it is our limitations at play
for choosing our words and what to say.

Please make no assumptions but give others a chance.
Don’t judge them without asking, please allow them to enhance.
Hold back in assuming, don’t jump at a thought
be open and ask or all is for naught.

When caught up in emotion we can travel two ways.
We either shut down completely or fail to convey.
Don’t jump to conclusions but rather choose trust
and ask what is meant and not assume we’re unjust.

Let us choose love and expect the best
and question our reactions, that is our test.
For love is the answer and a willingness to forgive.
It will strengthen our friendships and bring peace as we live.

Revelry at Midsummer

Midsummer brings a craziness of spirit,
a wild urging to break loose and soar.
Drones impregnate the queen
and fall to death’s door.

My longing and lustful heart
seeks this ecstatic trance
is it the Horned Sun King
drawing me to the dance?

I seek the company of wild youth
to dance at revel fires,
drumming out nature’s rhythms
triggering my inner desire.

Heat caught from the Solstice Fire
and the sun on its longest day
awakens this sleeping woman
now ready for sacred play.

I want to dance bare breasted in the sun
seeking the fire and the flame,
my heart opening to all that is
a woman wild and untamed.

Birch

your silver trunk and dark spotted branches,
nestled in the winter snow,
your red blood known for many cures.
You drop your seeds in the coldest times,
are the first to grow after fire.
You prepare the way for other trees
and grow on barren land,
your fallen leaves and branches,
nourishment for those that follow.
my memories of you standing there
in the wintry home of my youth
are reminders of your firm resolve.
Though in appearance delicate and soft
You have the strength to grow
when others quickly die.
You are the seed of beginnings
of infinite potential
tall, proud Lady of the Woods.

Bare Tree

Bare Tree, here in the cold of winter,
I stand here and gaze at your branches.
You are so adaptable to the changing seasons.
Each year, as the days begin to shorten,
you prepare yourself for the coming cold,
your leaves turning color and then dropping to the ground.
Those leaves, so full of moisture
would freeze with the cold
and cause you grievous harm.
Your branches would grow heavy with ice and snow.
In your bareness, Tree, you show us your wisdom.
In this time of cold,
You are preparing for future growth.
You are readying yourself for spring
When you will send out new leaves and flowers
and begin the growth cycle again.
Would that I could feel this cycle more within my own core
and know when it is time to be still and to rest,
when to pull back and listen,
when to be still and stand, rooted in the ground,
when to drop what could harm me
and when to go within to ready myself for the new.
Thank you, Bare Tree, for showing me this lesson
Thank you for the gift of your knowledge.

Calling the Ancestors

We call to those who have gone before,
Ancient Ones, loved ones
who have left this plane,
spirit helpers, all.
We are gathered here in sacred space
to reach beyond the veil.
We have reaped the harvest
and stored them for the coming year.

We face a time of cold and dark,
of wind and sleet and snow.
It is the end of warmth and growth,
a time of death and quiet repose.
This is the night to lift the veil,
a time when you are near.
Draw close to us within this space,
your message we would hear.

Speak to us of what you will,
of things you know or need.
Speak to us of times long past,
or that which is yet to come.
Share with us those things we feel,
but somehow cannot touch.
We know we know the things of old
yet somehow they are lost.

They come to us from beyond the veil,
from this place that is no place,
from a time where no time exists.
They will speak to us of love,
for that is all there is.
Those who have come before
stand ever ready to lend a hand,
even though we do not always know they are near.

As you reach to them,
try not so hard
to see a face,
but search for love within your soul.
Create a channel to summon forth;
a bond – a tie between us.
Form a link, with love unite,
and share the present moment.

Draw from them the love you need
and know the promise of tomorrow.
They will speak with us of times of old
and the future yet to come
and as you face the coming dark
and know it’s bitter cold,
warmth will come once more
with the turning of the wheel.

Hadaig

crowHadaig, you are so smart
With your large cawing voice,
Unique and patient in flight

Your compact body with
long-legs and thick neck
a heavy, straight bill.
with broad, rounded wings
and wing-tip feathers that spread like fingers

I am amazed at your fine body
you have not a speck of any other color –
all black, even your legs and bill.

you could teach us a lot about being with others
living in large flocks, sometimes of millions
how do you do that
when I have trouble with only a few?

you are inquisitive
and very mischievous, my friend
and so good at solving problems

I just don’t know how you do it
eating almost anything
… even robbing chicks from nests

Oh, bold Hadaig,
you are so aggressive
you often chase away hawks
I know you must surely be full of yourself!

I see you In fields, open woodlands, and forests
on lawns and in parking lots
you raid garbage cans and
pick over what we throw out

you are a great teacher
of cleverness and versatility
It is no wonder you are beloved of the Goddess

Jodi

Jodi outside, tough as nails
Brightly colored tattoed skin
Jodi inside, soft as silk
Never nurtured by mother’s milk.

Hurt by life, this child of pain
Hurt by those whose love she’d gain.
Battered, beaten, bruised and torn
By those around her she was scorned.

She tries her best to be fierce
Her toughness hides her fragile self.
Inside her soul, the gentle fawn
Dares not be another’s pawn.

With her friends she seeks to grow
Goddess led, she now knows
That love will heal the hurt and pain
And through knowledge she will gain.

She must start her life again
As if a child in school, begin.
She must read to get ahead
And learn the rules as she’s led.

Someday she’ll see she has no need
For smoke and stuff to hide her pain
The Lady wants her pure and clean
On the Goddess she can lean.

It is not easy to learn to love
When love’s not taught.
It’s not easy to hide the dread
When lovers find new paths to tread.

I hope her teachers guide her well
And teach by doing what they say
Living smart and choosing right
Showing that the path is bright.

When Jodi learns to love herself
Then love from others will be a boon
Not a need to fill a hole
But fluffy frosting for the soul.

Deanne (who knows when – many years ago)