A Change in the Air

Lying in the cool, green grass, I feel it thick beneath me.
I gaze at the clouds in the sky and my mind wanders,
drifting out to times remembered and times yet to come.
I feel close to the Earth, immanently connected and
embraced by the unknown universe above.

I have sought to learn the secrets of both
and the more I think I know
the more I realize how much there is yet to learn.
They keep their secrets guarded from inquisitive minds
giving a bit at a time, just enough to tempt
a hungry mind to search for more.

I remember when I used to take a nice thick blade of grass
between my two thumbs and raise it to my lips
squealing  a sound out into the wind.
I try it now and there it is,
that old familiar sound still there, even now.

I see the geese flying overhead
the cool air of autumn blew in on the wind today.
They are honking their way south.
As I think about this time of calm and stillness
summer’s end and just now feeling the change
moving toward winter, but first a time to watch
all the colors change from green to yellows and browns.

Trees know that it is time to rest and close down.
A time to prepare for the inward journey of the dark.
I think I’ll lie here in the grass for a while longer
taking in the autumn day and feeling the Earth
rich and warm beneath me while my mind wanders
with pleasant thoughts that drift
and spiral with no purpose but to just be.

Opening the Faerie Hill

Danu, Danu, Danu
Three times round we go
Moonwise in our circle
Dancing with the flow.

Danu, Danu, Danu
Three times round we spin
To waken all the Sidhe
In the mound within

Danu, Danu, Danu
Three times round we dance
Lead us to the Otherworld
Spinning in our trance.

Danu, Danu, Danu
Three times round we sing
Happy all together
In the Faerie Ring.

A Morning Prayer for Danu

Danu, Danu, Danu
Flowing rivers and streams
We are bathed in your love.

Danu, Danu, Danu
Your Body, this beautiful Land
We suckle at your Breast.

Mother of All
Redeemer of Souls
Source of all that is Holy.

Bring peace to all who suffer.
Bring health to all who are ill.
Bless us this morning as we arise.

Bless us with food and drink
A warm hearth for all
And shelter from the storms.

We offer you sweet milk
Our bread and fruit, gifts for you
With grateful hearts, we share.

Danu, Danu, Danu
Flowing rivers and streams
We are bathed in your love.

Danu, Danu, Danu
Your Body, this beautiful Land
We suckle at your Breast.

Mother of All
Redeemer of Souls
Source of all that is Holy.

Fire, Her Bright Spirit

dd croppedIn Celtic Tradition our world is composed of Three Realms, those of Land, Sea and Sky. In the midst of these Realms we find the Sacred Grove, the place of flowing together. There the Sacred Fire burns, by the Well of Wisdom, beneath the World Tree. Sacred Fire is that which weaves itself throughout the Three Realms.  It connects us and all of life to the Realms as well as to our gods and goddesses.  Fire is Sacred Spirit, Sacred Inspiration, without which life would have no meaning. (image by Marilyn Masden)

Fire is the spark, the flame, the heat of passion.  It is what ignites our creativity, fuels our passion and fires our hearts to love.  It is the Dance of Life, the joy found in movement, sexual energy and the warmth that germinates new life in seeds. It is the warmth of sunlight on our skin and the ecstatic pleasure of orgasm.

Fire is that which transforms fuel to light and heat as it can transform anything we feed it to pure energy.  We associate Fire with the Sun which provides all living beings on Earth with warmth and light. Without it, life as we know it would be impossible.  The Sun burns above us…and its energy supports life.

In magical traditions, we associate Fire with noon, when the sun is at its peak in the sky. We also associate it with summer, that time when the Sun is with us for longest days in the year.  It is associated with the active phase of our adult lives, the time we expend the most energy.  It is the time of creating families and careers. Clearly, sex and passion are all about Fire.

Fire also heals by stirring things up and getting them moving. It overcomes the stagnation of apathy, the heaviness of depression, or the distant coldness of always living in one’s head. Fire corresponds to our will.  It is our power to choose, to make and keep goals and to take care of any obstacles that prevent forward movement.  We use fire to remove anything in our way. Fire is what gives us courage. Fire is our independent spirit. We can use the magic of fire to face fears and overcome them.

We must also look at the destructive side of Fire.  The consuming hunger of fire is what strikes fear in our hearts. Magically, then, fire is about transformation.  Changing what no longer serves us and fueling what does.  And as with any burning fire, we must carefully contain and direct it lest it burn out of control. We see Fire within us, when it is out of control, as destructive tendencies, aggressiveness, jealousy, hatred, resentment and vindictiveness.

CenterFire is at Center of the World. If asked the question, “where is the center of the world,” I have three answers. When speaking for myself, my answer is “where I stand.” To someone else in my family, it would be wherever we gather at the center of the home. In ancient cultures, that would have been the hearth or the center pole.  Today, it may be at the kitchen table.  And if you were to ask a Druid of her clan, it would be the sacred Bíle or sacred tree of the Gods. As one who practices, Celtic based spirituality, the Goddess Brighid connects all of these “centers” for She is the Goddess of Fire. She is Fire in the head and the heart, the Fire in the home and hearth and the Fire of smiths and poets. She is the magic that connects the Three Realms of Land, Sea and Sky. She is the Fire that transforms. She is the Fire that opens the way into the Otherworld, into Inspiration.  For, it is Fire that gives inspiration to all creativity.

Author Tom Cowan introduced many to the term, “Fire in the Head”  which he described as meaning to be called to another world, that which carries one who can travel to realms unseen by others and return with special knowledge.

Words, written a certain way, in their finest expression can set us fire. The Celtic expression “Fire in the Head” also makes reference to the passionate inspiration that leads us to our finest work, our most beautiful creations, our poetry, songs and written words.

Amergin, a great Druid whose name means “Birth of Song” said as he stepped ashore in Ireland, “I am a god who sets the head afire with smoke.” It was this “Fire in the Head” that fueled Amergin’s ability to “be” all he claimed to be and thus use that power to claim the land for his people, the Gaels.

We are at the time of Midsummer – the height of the Season of the Sun; the longest day of the year.  Fire is an important aspect to Midsummer celebrations with bonfires on hilltops, at crossroads, or any place where folks could gather. The Midsummer Fire is traditionally kindled from the friction of two sacred woods, fir and oak. Nine different types of herbs are thrown upon the Midsummer fire. These consist of mistletoe, vervain, St. John’s Wort, heartsease, lavender, and a choice of four others chosen from herbs typical of this season such as yarrow. In Celtic traditions, it was nine sacred woods, thought to be the first nine trees of the Celtic Tree Calendar.  Folks would feast, dance and jump the fire for luck and fertility. The herds were driven through the smoke to purge disease and illness from them. In the Isle of Man, fires were lit so that the smoke could pass over the corn fields.  In Germany, Fire wheels hurtled down the hills representing the Sun’s movement.   If the wheel flamed, all the way down the hill, farmers expected a plentiful harvest.  If not, lean times lay ahead.

This is the time when the fullness of the Mother is evident in the lushness of growth around us.  It is when the crops are ripening in the sun; the time the honey bee gathers in sweetness.  We celebrate this season with dance, bonfires, and yes, sexual pleasure. This is the revelry of Midsummer and the Dance of Fire…

midsummer brings a craziness of spirit,
a wild urging to break loose and soar.
the drones impregnate the queen
and fall to death’s door.

my longing and lustful heart
seeks this ecstatic trance.
is it the horned Sun King
drawing me into the dance?

seeking the company of wild youth
to dance at revel fires,
drumming out nature’s rhythms
triggers my inner desire.

heat caught from the Solstice fire
and the sun on its longest day
arose this sleeping woman
now ready for sacred play.

I dance bare breasted in the sun
seeking the fire and the flame
my heart opens to all that is
my spirit wild and untamed.

Blessings in the Summer Solstice Season

The Breath of Goddess (Spring 2013)

cropped-breath_sm11.jpgI am a child of the Earth.
I live and breathe, walk and dance upon Her face.
She is my source and I learn from Her each day. This I know…

Life begins in the dark as Desire.
Deep in that dark place life begins to form, taking root and becoming…..

As life stirs…… deep in the Mother’s Belly,
there is a gentle quickening, movement
that alerts us to a “knowing”
of the presence of something yet to come.

As the Earth prepares Herself with warmth,
the rains and waters come to flood the land,
nourishing the soil in which She is creating new life.

Earth and Water and Fire
come together and Form continues to take shape.

One last thing is needed.
Just as new form emerges,
She breathes Air upon it.
Her Breath, giving Life to all.

In previous posts I have focused on the Earth as the Body of Goddess and well as Her Sacred Waters. Now I would love to play with Air. We cannot live without air. Without air, our breath, we can die in as little as four minutes. We take air into our lungs and it replenishes our body with the oxygen it brings to us. When we exhale, we release what oxygen we did not use, as well as carbon dioxide. The beautiful symbiosis with this is that our plant kindred produce oxygen for us as we release carbon dioxide for them. Air is our “shared breath.”

In our speech, we use many idioms such as:  you take my breath away, like a breath of fresh air, with bated breath, don’t hold your breath and I don’t have time to breathe.

For air itself, some well-known ones are: a breath of fresh air, have your nose in the air, build castles in the air, air your dirty linen in public, put on airs, clear the air, vanish into thin air, float on air and full of hot air. Of course there are many more.

As an element, air has many magical associations. Some are imagination, clearing, dawn, and birds of prey. In the tarot, we associate air with both the sword and the wand, depending on which traditions we follow. Some of the colors connected to air are yellow, purple, white and lilac. These are all colors that help us to feel “light as air.”

And the hopeless romantic that I am – I am swept away when I hear the words in the song, “Hero” by Enrique Iglesias:

“And I will stand by you, forever
You can take my breath away
You can take my breath away … “

When we think of air we also think of wind. Wind comes to us from all directions.  It can be warm, cold, wet and gusty. It carries pollen from plant to plant. We might have the pleasure (or dismay) of a gusty wind lifting a skirt. Our feathered friends fly on the drafts and currents of the wind. How many have played as children, running with a kite until the wind catches it and lifts it into the sky?

Some well-known idioms for wind are written on the wind, three sheets in the wind, scattered to the four winds, throw caution to the wind, spitting in the wind or pissing in the wind.

Our ability to taste our food is primarily a function of our sense of smell. Air carries smells to us.

In his Book of Secrets, Rajneesh/Osho writes, ”If you can do something with breath, you will attain the source of life. If you can do something with breath, you can transcend time and space. If you can do something with breath, you will be in the world and also beyond it.”

Many spiritual traditions include spiritual breathing into their practices. It is a great way to clear your head and calm yourself when stressed. You can become centered, clear and uplifted.

Working with the breath helps open us to a more spirit centered life. It opens us to sacred play. We can transform our breath into prayers. Breathing is the language of the soul.

I like to associate voice with air.  Voice when lifted in song expresses deep emotions through the words of the song as well as in the tune.  These tones arise from deep in the belly.  They are formed through the vocal cords and finally shaped by the tongue, lips and teeth.  These tones release both joy and anguish.

Our spoken voice is the vehicle through which we communicate intelligent sound with others.  They tell our thoughts, express our needs and help us make connections as we travel through life. The voice is used to defend our position, to stand up for what is right and for what we perceive of as wrong.  Our voice, as women, is often suppressed and lost to “power over” control of others. Let us call upon Air to heal this and to open us to reclaiming the power of voice.

We have many arguments today as to when life begins. The Ancients believed that without breath there was no life. There were times when a woman would become pregnant and the delivery of her child would occur when food was scarce. Rather than deprive any already living soul, those assisting in the delivery, or the mother herself, would not allow the infant to breathe and therefore, was never alive.

It is the same with our own creations. We first think them into being. Then we give them form and finally we must breathe into them, infuse them with life so they are manifested into reality.

In Celtic mythology we read:

Nine Maidens, laughing and singing;
Then veiled in the mist, silent as stone.
Changers and Life Makers, Breath of change, Life Breathing all.

In the shifting realm between the worlds, these nine maidens revealed the beckoning cauldron of unknown potential through which life is taken and out of which life is born.

The wind blows away dead leaves that cover the earth, exposing the soil to the new light. We link our concept of Spirit as a metaphor with the breath, breath hovers over the waters.

The wind is seen as a great power behind the natural world and becomes that power’s creative spirit. A strong gust of wind suggests an infusion of creative potential.

The Tuatha De Danann, the Old Gods of the Celtic people, suddenly appeared in Ireland out of the air, on wind-borne clouds.

What this all means to us, is that we must open ourselves to this gift of the life giving breath.  Let us breathe in creative potential.  Let us breathe in sacred inspiration. Let us breathe in the breath that we all share. The breath that we have shared since the beginning of time is the sacred life giving source of life – Air.

The Sacred Boar and the Dark of the Year (Samhain 2012)

BoarFor the last few weeks I have been feeling the presence of the Boar.  This would not be completely out of the blue as the Boar is the sacred animal for the last lunar cycle of Gort – representing tenacity and ruthless strength. In my spiritual practice, I travel into the Otherworld and typically discover allies with animals.  My first step in getting to know an animal that has become present, I do the research.

“The Boar is the beast of death,” (Graves, 210), and much of what we read about Boars and pigs is in general connected with death.  Death is a concern in most religions and contemplation of death takes on a special vividness and immediacy.  The Boar is, among other things, a devourer; it is a menace to crops and to people, it is voracious and it is omnivorous.

In his famous song, “The Mystery” Amergin sang, “I am a ruthless Boar.” The Boar is the last of Four Sacred Animals to be mentioned by him.   Stories about the Boar deal with the “hinge” of the year, the passage across the boundary between Light and Dark. The Boar is the creature that represents the never ending continuity of divine energy and is seen as chased from one realm of energy-manifestation to the other.  The Boar’s expression changes, becoming either a dark creature of destruction or a solar teacher.  This is similar to the Stag, who changes from the antlered apparition to the earth-bound power at the heart of the greenwood.  So here at the time of Samhain in the Northern Hemisphere, as we move into darkness, the Boar becomes the harbinger of death, riding on the active energy of growth into darkness.

But the Boar’s descent into the Underworld is not just a journey of destruction.  In spite of any other roles it may play, the Boar is a creature of fertility.  It plants the seeds of renewal. It is as if the many fragments of life retain that life within themselves and, buried like seeds in winter soil, they will be nurtured by the darkness of the dark until the next bright season.

In addition to representing fertility and wealth, Boars symbolize courage and strong warriors (MacCulloch, 356) for they are strong, dangerous, and very hard to kill. Their appearance in dreams and visions also indicates warriors. Isolt’s forewarning of the death of Tristan, a great warrior, came in a dream about the death of a great Boar (Spector, 85-86). Statues of Boars are occasionally found in the company of statues of armed warriors, (Powell, 176) further indicating an association between Boars and warriors.

Great importance is attached to the bristles of the Boar. Perhaps they are the distinguishing characteristic of the animal or symbolize its strength. For example, Fionn is killed by stepping on a Boar’s bristle after breaking a geasa against hunting Boars (MacCulloch, 150). Some of the extraordinary Boars that King Arthur fights in Culhwich and Olwen have bristles that are gold or silver. Conversely, when Menw tries to steal treasures from Twrch Trwyth, he is only able to take a bristle. The pig herders at the start of the Táin, Friuch and Rucht, are named after the bristle and the grunt of the Boar, respectively. It is the bristle of the Boar, Friuch that proves to have the most power; in the end, Friuch reborn as Donn Cuilnge destroys Rucht as Finnebach Ai. The bristles of the Boar are mentioned many other times implying that they are an important part of the animal.

In my researched on the Boar I discovered that the Boar is the animal that both Freyr and Freyja rode – specifically Freyja’s association.  Most of the information I obtained came from the Lay of Hyndla.  It seems that Freyja’s Boar, Hildsvini, was her lover, Ottar, who had been changed into a Boar and upon whose back Freyja rode. Certainly there are sexual overtones here; in fact Freyja was accused of being promiscuous by Hyndla for it!

So, having completed my research, I was ready.  I went into meditation and invited Freyja to join me.  I found myself in a dense forest sitting on a tree stump.  While I could not see Freyja, I spoke with her.  I told her what I was looking for and that I hoped it would be a Boar but asked her to guide me.

I explained to Freyja why I was looking. I got up and started walking into the forest feeling expectant.  After about five minutes I came around a corner and standing there was a Boar.  He was pretty darn big!  I really expected to be afraid and thought perhaps he would not be friendly but actually he was friendly toward me.  Perhaps he had been instructed by Freyja – I don’t know.  I walked over to him and ran my hands on his back and talked with him.

I explained what I needed, that I wanted him to help me ferret out information when I needed it and when it was being difficult to obtain.  I told him I admired his tenacity and that I hoped we could work together as a team.  He never answered me but when I hopped up on his back he made no protest.  I again ran my hands on him around his neck and sort of laid myself down over his neck and gave him a hug.  After that I got down and he wandered off.

It seems very right for this Boar to be entering my life.  Earlier this year after a dance of a year or so, the Stag came into my journeys and now the Boar.  The Stag represents the Light of the year and the Boar the Dark.  I don’t know yet if the Stag will stay with me in my journeys or be replaced by the Boar as a seasonal variation.  Only time will tell.  When I see the Boar again I will call him Elohx.  If he is both Stag and Boar, the name is fitting for both.  As related to the Rune Algiz – elk-sedge – he will be a strong guide and helper in stripping away “bark” to reveal the wisdom I seek.

In my next meditation, I was alone and decided to take a little journey.  It had been very quiet and frankly, I was so bored I needed to do something.  I was listening to a song on my computer that I had downloaded and was sitting back in my chair with my eyes closed.  The next thing I knew I was walking in the woods. So I decided to go looking for the Boar.  I sent out a call and asked him to come meet me.  I walked a little further and then suddenly, there he was.  I greeted him and asked him if I might call him Elohx.  He still did not speak to me but I sensed a slight nod of his head.  I reached out and ran my hands over his fur which was quite thick and I sensed that I needed to be careful not to go the wrong way as they seemed somewhat sharp.  Really beautiful – like very thick hair!  So I asked if we might go somewhere and I climbed up on his back.  I expected us to trot along much like riding on a horse, but no we left the ground and flew!  Right up over the trees.  His feet were tucked back and I held on and we went soaring over the trees – it felt rather odd but I would like to get used to it! About that time, I was brought abruptly back to this world by the ringing of my phone.

So I took the call and then sat back and closed my eyes once more.  I wasn’t on his back anymore and surprising – he didn’t seem to be too disturbed by my sudden departure – strange how things can be in the world of trance.  Anyway, I apologized and said I had better go.  I thanked him and said we would meet again. I hope to be able to journey with him when I have a question!

I have added Boar bristles to my drum and look forward to journeying with Elohx through the remaining darkness of the year.

Robert Graves, Robert, White Goddess.  The Noonday Press, 1969.
Kondratiev, Alexei, The Apple Branch: A Path to Celtic Ritual, Citadel Press, New York, NY, 2003.
MacCulloch, J. A. The Religion of the Ancient Celts. T. and T. Clark, Edinburgh, Scotland, 1911.
Powell, T.G.E. The Celts. New Ed., Thames and Hudson, New York, NY, USA, 1980.
Spector, Norman B., trans. The Romance of Tristan and Isolt. Northwestern University Press: Evanston, USA, 1973

Coll ~ Ogham Few Drawn Today, May 20, 2013

 

Hazel

 

The Tree

Hazel – Coll

Literal meaning

Hazel

Moon

Nine

Place on the hand

First Joint of the Ring Finger 

Color

Cron – Brown

Stone

Banded Red Agate

Bird

Corr – The Crane  

Goddesses

Minerva, Sophia, (Celtic – Sionnain, Brighid the Poet, Bóann of the Boyne, Nechtan the Guardian of the Well of Wisdom)

Symbols

Wisdom and the Salmon

Message

Return to our source of wisdom

Musical Note

D

Planet

Mercury

Flower essence

Chestnut Bud

Meanings:

Poetic inspiration, well of wisdom, world tree, liminality, source of wisdom, tradition, the senses, visionary ability, creative ability, wisdom, second sight, omen-taking

Book of Ballymote

Coll, that is everyone is eating of its nuts.

Word Ogham of Morainn

cóiniu fedaib, fairest of trees

Word Ogham of Cú Chulainn

milsem fedo,  sweetest of woods, a nut/sweetest tree.

Word Ogham of Oengus

carae blóesc , friend of cracking/friend of nutshells

 

Notes: The complex of symbols surrounding the hazel tree and its nuts is deep and complex. The hazel is the symbol of poetic wisdom for the Celts, along with the salmon. The nine hazels of wisdom stand around the well of wisdom in which the salmon of wisdom lives. The well of wisdom is the source of the five senses.

There is actually no bird listed in the source materials for Coll in the bird ogham, and so we assigned the crane to this letter, because it has a deep connection with wisdom and magic. Manannán’s crane bag contained language as one of its treasures, and language is the way through which inspiration and wisdom are expressed.

Interpretation: Coll represents the distillation of the pure and concentrated essence of anything, especially knowledge.  It is the essence of the use of language for communication, the mystery of how ideas are formed and realized in human consciousness.  It is from this ultimate source that creative energy is produced.  It is the essence of all truth and beauty.  Either you will become the facilitator of self-discovery for others, or you will soon be the recipient of some teaching from others.  Concentrate on the acquisition of knowledge and wisdom.  You may be called upon to arbitrate in a conflict, or, some conflict you are having will be mediated on the principles of wisdom.  Search for the source of all things.  There is mastery and skill being directed in a conscious way.  The challenge is that there may be a tendency not to follow intuition, and as a result, your creativity may be blocked.  You may be blocked by fear of failure, or you may experience blockages from outside yourself.

Question to Consider: From where do I draw my wisdom?  In what ways do I apply it usefully?

Liminal Time and Space

The word liminal comes from the Latin word līmen, meaning “a threshold.” The word threshold has several definitions.  It can be the sill of a doorway or the entrance of a building.  Ultimately, it means any place of point of entering or beginning. In psychology the term limen means the point at which a stimulus is of sufficient intensity to begin to produce an effect.

Liminal time therefore, is that moment when something changes from one state to another.  Examples would be dawn, when the morning sun rises high enough in the sky to bring daylight.  Another is dusk, when the evening sun sinks into the horizon bringing nightfall.

Another is that moment when we move from a clearing into a deep fog which shrouds us in mist and for a moment, we stop all thinking. There is that moment when we first wake from a deep sleep, not fully awake but no longer asleep.  Plus there is that state when we move from wakeful consciousness into sleep. There are also those moments of transitions between life and death and from an unborn fetus to a living, breathing infant.Read More Here

Ogham Few for the Week of March 10, 2013 – Nion

Nion

Nion

Third Consonant
  Image by Drew Morton
Letters ~ Support ~ Connection
Checking of peace~ weaving of silk
Contest of women ~ Contest of beauty
Color ~ necht ~ clear
Tree ~ uinnsiu ~ash ~ nentog ~nettle
Bird ~ naescu ~ Snipe
Note ~ a
Planet ~ Juno

Consider: Do I have obligations and what are they? How are my relationships with others?

Associations: peace, choices, contracts, agreements, harmony, women’s power, networking, safety-net.

Healing: the “tonic of life” and inner health.
Messages/Uses: sacred breath of life, Frenette—from the viper’s poisonous bite, justice of fate, strong urgings, winds of change, control over impatience.

Song of Amergin:
“I am a wind on a deep lake”

Interpretation: Nion is the link between the inner and outer worlds.  We are able to function in deep, watery places, in the realms of the underworld.  It is our flexible, psychic strength.  It is the weave of fate and the guardian of peace.  Take care to see things in their larger context.  Note how all actions have their reactions and note how you influence the world with your actions, physical and spiritual.  Act; take bold action when action is called for.  The challenge of the Ash is the determination of hidden influences and appearances.  Things are not always as they seem and you must be perceptive enough to see what is noble. There is a tendency to cut one’s self off from the world.

We are actually in the lunar cycle of Nion if working with the Sacred Tree Moons.  This is the time of wind over water.  This wind can be like a breath of fresh air, breathing life into form or it can come at us as a storm tearing apart all in its path.

I seem to be experiencing this wind over water in both ways right now.  I am manifesting – breathing life force into current projects, creating and making things happen in my life.  At the same time I seem to be digging myself deeper into family turmoil and further isolating myself because I find myself unable to forgive. Why is it so hard to say, “I am sorry my words hurt your feelings.” That was all I was looking for.  Instead what I got was more blame, more shame and further attempt to make me the villain. So my attempt at mending bridges this weekend stirred up those winds even more.  I wanted to use the dark moon energy to bring peace but instead the wind has escalated and I have further isolated myself.

And so, I turn back to caring for myself, to finding ways to restore my sense of well-being while relying solely on myself and accepting that truly it is up to me to find happiness again.

Now is not the time for rash decisions. Slowly, carefully awaken what it is you wish to give life to.  Be tender in your efforts lest the storm blow.

Drawing the Feda for the Week of March 3, 2013

Idho

Idho
From the Aicme Ailm
Age ~ Memory
Oldest of woods, fairest of the ancients, energy of an infirm person, most withered of wood, most pleasant of growth, sword
Color ~ irfind ~very- white
Tree ~ iur, ibar~yew, crann soirb~service tree, edeand~ivy, aiteal~juniper
Bird ~ illat ~ eagle
Note ~ f
Planet ~ Saturn
Consider: How has the past made me who I am?
Associations: ancestors, lore, survival, reincarnation, aging.
Time: Winter Solstice
Healing: for extending life beyond death’s door.

Messages/Uses: the testing of trust, the final passage of the material and mortal, growth through sacrifice, entrance to new beginnings.

Song of Amergin:
“I am the tomb to every hope
Who but I know the secrets of  the unhewn dolmen”

Interpretation: This is the essence of the self, that which is inherited from the ancestral past.  It is the eternal root of the self.  It is the ultimate measure of the passage of the soul from life to life.  Idho refers to transformation from one state to another or a movement of some kind.  It can be fraught with discomfort and a sense of loss.  There is a high likelihood that the letter Idho indicates that there is either ignorance of a certain forthcoming transformation, or that a transformation is imminent.  The main challenge is the inner feeling of loss and sorrow.  This grief must be worked through before change can be fully understood.  Keep in mind that birth always follows death in the endless cycle of creation.

I am, at this point in my life, attempting to rise up out of the fear and hopelessness of the last four years of my life.  Those I come in contact with in the daily living of my life, might find those words a bit of a shock, for on the surface, it appears most of the time that I am handling life well.  I learned early on, even as a child, to wear the mask of strength and resilience well.

Bouncing back has always been relatively easy for me and I have reinvented my life several times. But I am finding that I am not as resilient nor do I have the inner strength I once had.  Fear is the culprit in all of this.  I lost a great job four years ago and it has been downhill ever since.  I have found myself to be unemployable.  Those jobs I could easily and willingly do all seem to require standing on my feet all day and sadly – I cannot stand for 30 seconds without pain.  And so these last four year have been years of loss.  Loss of home – loss of possessions – loss of my car and with that, my independence. Fear has become an every day feeling and one that keeps me frozen at times, feeling at a loss as to how to turn this downward spiral around.

What has been the most debilitating is the loss of connection with my daughters and my grandchildren.  Without their emotional support, without connection to those I love most in the world, it has become increasingly difficult to keep fear at bay. However, in all of this loss, I seem to have had some sort of awakening. The knowledge I have always had and certainly have tried to deny for most of my life is that I have only myself to count on.  I only have me to fix what is wrong.

And so I have become an active participant with new resolve to recreate my life. I am in the manifesting part of this renewal.  I have been working on an art journal to inspire me.  I have a new doctor to help me improve my health and have engaged a therapist to help me achieve my goals and work with me with coping skills so that regardless of what happens within my family dynamics, I remain strong and confident and emotionally resilient.

Idho is a death and a rebirth.  It has been expressed in my life these last few years as a tremendous sense of loss.  It tells me that transformation is imminent now.  I must come to terms with the grief I am experiencing.  Finally, I am remembering who I am and calling upon the strength and abilities I have always had.