So, I bought a book (not new for me) called \u201cFriendships Don\u2019t Just Happen\u201d by Shasta Nelson.\u00a0 I bought it at the suggestion of my friend, Letecia, because I expressed my plans to widen my circle of friends.\u00a0 Shasta also has an interactive website but alas, there is nothing there for those of us in Austin (at least not yet).\u00a0 Being me, and how I have never feared beginning things on my own, I want to find a way to connect here in Austin in order to create those\u00a0meaningful friendships.<\/p>\n

Shasta\u2019s book explains the different kinds of friendships we form and then, in part two, goes on to offer help in \u201cgrowing\u201d those friendships \u2013 especially the kind you are truly seeking.\u00a0 I have friendships that fall into the first two or three types on the left and in the center (on her scale left to right) but in all honesty I am seriously lacking in what she calls committed friendships (all the way to the right).<\/p>\n

Early on, in the very beginning of the book, Shasta makes reference to\u00a0how important having these relationships is to our health and well-being.<\/p>\n

I have always been a nomad \u2013 beginning with being an Army Brat \u2013 then marrying into the military \u2013 it became a pattern in my life.\u00a0 So I do know how friendships \u2013 good ones \u2013 can be formed.\u00a0I have done it over and over again, successfully, my whole life. \u00a0But today, perhaps at my age, but also in this technological, fast-paced time we live in \u2013 we just need to look at new and different ways of finding friends or finding the women who have the potential of becoming best friends.<\/p>\n

I have long been aware that creating and maintaining those kinds of committed friendships demands just that – commitment! I have been a fan of Thomas Moore\u2019s work for years and know that we must take care of relationships for them to remain healthy and for them to satisfy the needs we have from them.\u00a0\u00a0It not only takes time and attention to get to the committed stage,\u00a0it also takes time and attention for them to last any reasonable amount of time.<\/p>\n

I am at a place in my life where my BFF\u2019s are almost all online.\u00a0 They are wonderful women and there for me always.\u00a0 But that does not help a lot when I am sitting here in my apartment and I just want to connect in an intimate, loving way \u2013 in-person – with someone I hold close to my heart in friendship.\u00a0 There is no one in my life that qualifies for that role.\u00a0 I certainly have friends I can tell most anything but they are not available for hanging out \u2013 for some casual fun on any kind of regular basis.\u00a0 I don\u2019t hold them responsible or love them any less for that. I just know that I need more.<\/p>\n

I haven\u2019t read the part yet about finding those friends but I do know what I seek and what has pleased me in former, committed friendships.<\/p>\n

This friend \u2026<\/p>\n

\n
1. Has some common interests but certainly could share new ones with me.<\/li>\n
2. Holds similar spiritual views \u2013 has common ground.<\/li>\n
3. Is trust worthy and honest.<\/li>\n
4. Is single and available and will make time for friendship.<\/li>\n
5. Is close to my age, perhaps 60 plus\u2026.<\/li>\n
6. Wants to have face to face contact at least 2-3 times a month.<\/li>\n
7. Won\u2019t walk away mad but will hang in there to resolve conflict.<\/li>\n
8. Calls and also loves to get calls to just check in.<\/li>\n
9. Knows that friendship is a two-way street and is willing to both give and receive in forming the bonds necessary.<\/li>\n
10. Knows how to listen compassionately and is also willing to be vulnerable herself.<\/li>\n
11. Doesn\u2019t have a problem with finding very inexpensive things to do.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    There may be some more things I will add to this list but it is a start!<\/p>\n

    So, if I want to do this, I must begin.\u00a0 This is my first step. I am putting this on my blog and sharing my blog.\u00a0 I welcome ideas and if you are in Austin and somehow resonate with what I have listed \u2013 I would love to explore.<\/p>\n

    I have formed a group on Facebook to discuss this topic.\u00a0 You can join here<\/p>\n

    https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/groups\/creating.sustaining.friendship\/<\/p>\n

    As I continue to read and explore I will add to this topic, so stay tuned \u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    So, I bought a book (not new for me) called \u201cFriendships Don\u2019t Just Happen\u201d by Shasta Nelson.\u00a0 I bought it at the suggestion of my friend, Letecia, because I expressed my plans to widen my circle of friends.\u00a0 Shasta also has an interactive website but alas, there is nothing there for those of us in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"parent":1000,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"yoast_head":"\n